The orgasm

Hello everyone!

Previously we talked about the whole sexual response cycle, that way our body is expected to behave regarding the sexual contact. This path, so to speak, begins with desire and goes all the way up to the orgasm. We saw these aspects briefly at that time. Today I would like to go deeper into this last concept. Let's know more about the orgasm!

A suggestive image of orgasm

The famous orgasm!

You probably already heard about orgasm. Today, it is a very popular topic in conversations. It became even a slang for something really good. We may say we are having an orgasm while tasting a really good food or that something is orgastic. But, despite of being such a popular topic, many are those that never had an orgasm, particularly women and, even more, those that don't even know what it is precisely.

When it was discovered?

Before we know what the orgasm is (I want to raise the suspense a little more), I think it is relevant to know the history behind it. The orgasm is well know of humanity ever since the beginning, otherwise we would not be around anymore. This because the orgasm is, most commonly than not, associated with ejaculation in males (although it is possible to have ejaculation without orgasm and have orgasm without ejaculation). This means we men, "fatally", discover the orgasm, at least on our first times having sex - although it often is discovered much before. For women, however, the orgasm often is not that well known, as it has not a direct relation with reproduction in them. This means a woman may go over her entire life without knowing it, what often happens.

But scientifically the orgasm began to be discovered more recently, as the whole sexuality was a forbidden topic. The knowledge of female orgasm was deepened, for instance, after the discovery of "pelvic massage" that was, essentially, the act of masturbate women until they had an orgasm. This treatment was used for improvement of many disorders, such as hysteria.

The orgasm was more seriously studied after, around the 60's. Both Kinsey and Masters and Johnson theories are of determinant importance for the understanding of orgasm. They are the responsible for firstly theorize about the human sexual response cycle, that we already talked about here.

What is it?

Since we know more about its origins, we may now know what it is. The orgasm is a discharge of sexual energy or tension. This discharge is characterized physiologically by contractions, usually around genital area, but that may also be felt on others body parts such as members. These contractions are felt as very pleasant, what makes the orgasm have a much more significant meaning, psychologically speaking. Also this psychological meaning varies for each one of us, what means each person feels the orgasm differently. This means you will probably receive a different description of orgasm for each person you ask.  

How I get there?

As important as know what the orgasm is, it is to know how to achieve it. We get an orgasm basically through stimulation, particularly the stimulation made towards genital area. For men, this stimulation would be made on penis, particularly the glans. For women, there are three major regions that may lead to orgasm: the clitoris, the inside of vagina and the G-spot. What is more incredible about women is that not only there are more than one way of achieve orgasm, but also each of these regions lead to a different kind of sensation. In others words, the woman may have three distinct kinds of orgasm! Amazing, don't you think?

Finally...

Of course this is not the end of this topic. There are much more we may talk about this incredible subject that is the orgasm. This introductory article is just a general view, a starting point. Next I expect to talk more about the orgasm for both the men and the women. Stay tunned!

Best regards!

PS: My ebook is already available. In there I talk about orgasm and many others relevant topics. You may purchase it by clicking on the image below:

When the engine is not working...

Hi everyone,


Today I'll talk about one of the sexual dysfunctions (we talked about them briefly on the previous post). The today's post is about erectile dysfunction. This is one of the most known and commented dysfunctions and yet causes a lot of confusion. First because it has another popular name that is much more commonly used: the impotence. This second name has others implicit meanings,socially speaking, than the mere impossibility of get an erection. It also brings the idea of lack of power, failure in fulfill the male hole, the manhood. Often we hear "men don't fail".

But what is the erectile dysfunction?

It is, straightforward saying, the incapacity of have an erection. By this definition you may have noticed that this dysfunction is an exclusivity of men. The whole erectile dysfunction, however, is not as plain as this concept. It may have several causes and present itself in several different ways.

To understand a little better this concept, let's imagine that the sexual energy is the fuel that makes the whole human response cycle happen. If you remember, the human response cycle is that path we cross through sexual act, that has some mandatory, so to speak, check points (excitation, orgasm, resolution...). This way, we may consider the sexual energy as the impulse needed to achieve these check points. If the impulse is interrupted or comes in an insufficient flow, we may not be able to achieve the next point.
Very well. What happens with the erectile dysfunction is a sort of problem with this energy flow, what makes the penis not stay hard during sex or even not be hard at all. The reasons for this to happen are several, but may be divided into two categories: physiological (problems in our body) and psychological (problems in our "mind").

Is there no more love?

One of the main causes for the erectile dysfunction is the lack of desire. Yes, friend reader. Despite of what socially is believed, the man may not want to have sex sometimes. Without the will or the desire, that flow of sexual energy we discussed doesn't even begin. If we would compare the sexual function with a car's engine, it would be as if nobody started it. These are the cases in which the famous blue pill doesn't work.


The lack of desire, however, doesn't necessarily has to do with feelings, as you or your partner may be thinking now. The man may be deeply in love with someone and still not be in the mood for the sexual act. This may occur for several reasons such as stress, depression or anxiety. It would be as if the energy was diverted towards the problem the person is having, not arriving to the sexual sphere.  

It was here a while ago...

Others times the sexual energy even begins to flow. The person even has an erection, but it doesn't last enough for the sexual act to happen completely or even to allow a penetration. Here, once again, we could imagine the sexual energy was diverted, but it happens afterwards, when the sexual act is about to happen or happening already.
For this second kind of erectile dysfunction the reasons for it to happen are commonly connected to the anxiety, not hardly the performance anxiety. The energy ends up diverting due to preoccupation. It is common this be connected with the expectation towards the sexual act or even the man's insecurity about himself ("Is my penis big enough?", "What if she doesn't cum?"). That's why this kind of erectile dysfunction is common among those beginning their sexual life or having their first experiences.

It is so soft...

Others times the erectile dysfunction happens partially. In general, for the same reasons as the previous one, the erection may occur, but not with the enough vigor required for a penetration. In another words, the penis doesn't become hard enough.

It never happens...

It is possible that the erection never happened or that it stopped happening for a long time. This is a common scenario for those older. Unfortunately, for us men the erection usually follows the path of the rest of our body. As we begin to lose our muscular tonus as the age advances, also the erection begins to change after certain age. In this case the causes are usually physiological. Not that young ones don't have problems with this same cause, but it is more rare, related to some circulation problem or diabetes. These are the cases in which that blue pill usually works. That's why you should look for a doctor if your erection is no longer happening, not even involuntarily or after considerable stimulation.

How to know which one is the cause for my problem?

As you may have noticed, the erectile dysfunction may have two distinct main causes. Sometimes it is hard to determine which one is the case for you. There are some homemade tests you may attempt that may help to determine this.
The first step would be to discard physiological causes. In order to do it, it is important to know when the erection stopped happening and if it doesn't happen whatsoever. If you never had an erection or aren't having one for a considerable period of time (months, for instance), it is a sign that the problem is physiological.

However, if you have erections at some moments - it happens involuntarily, for instance - but it doesn't occur when you would like, it is highly probable that the causes are of psychological nature. A relatively easy test is to verify if you have erection by thinking or seeing erotic content, as a movie or a magazine. It may also be of use to try genital stimulation. The sign of any erection, such as when we desperately need to pee, already discards physiological

As for the intensity, an erection is sufficient if it allows a complete sexual act. This sufficient erection is the one that allows the penetration and that lasts long enough so you and your partner feel satisfied. In general, it is expected that an orgasm occur for both, but it may not be true if you or your partner have problems in the orgasm phase, what would characterize a different dysfunction. This is why each case must be evaluated in particular. These tips may be of use for information purposes, though.

Whatever reason or cause your problem have, know that both physiological and psychological erectile dysfunctions may be threated. That's why you should always look for help.

At last...

Here we saw how the erectile dysfunction looks like. It is important to reinforce that it not necessarily is a picture. Every man has, once in a while, problems of sexual nature. That history of "I never failed" is most of times a lie. If you had one or another experience in which your erection didn't work as expected, don't be alarmed. It is probable that this will not keep happening, specially if you are beginning your sexual life at all or with someone new. Be worried, as we saw, may even aggravate the problem. And, of course, if the problem is persistent and is bothering you already, don't wait up and look for help!

Regards and see you next time, everyone!

P.S.: My ebook has more about sexual dysfunctions, including the erectile dysfunction. You may purchase it in Kindle by clicking in the image below:

The sexual function

Hi everyone,

A while ago we discussed the human sexual response cycle. With this information we may now talk about another very important topic regarding human sexuality: the sexual dysfunctions.

It is working!

Imagine a clockwork. It was designed for a purpose. We say this clockwork is functional when it is working correctly, when it fulfills the role it was designed for. A dishwasher will be functional, for instance, when the dishes we put in it come out clean after we turn it on. On the other hand, the clockwork will be dysfunctional when it doesn't work at all or when it performs its functions in a way different from the expected. Thinking about our example, the dishwasher would be dysfunctional if it didn't work after we turn it on or if it is not using the soap.

 The body as a clockwork

For the human sexuality we may think about something like this too. There is a way we expect our body behave during the sexual act. This expectation, it is important to say, varies from person to person and with what end we have sex. I say this because we may have sex with the objective of reproduction, for instance. In this case be too quick would not be a problem. Often, however, the purpose is to have and give pleasure. From this perspective, it is expected that the body works for a certain amount of time, time sufficient for both to have pleasure. It must also work in a certain way so the sexual act is possible. Let's see how this expected way of work usually is for both a man and a woman.

The man sexual function

For man, the sexual function includes the erection. It is expected that this erection lasts time enough so the penetration would happen and the sexual act happen for a considerable amount of time, time sufficient so the partner have pleasure. Also it is expected that the man have himself an orgasm and ejaculate. This last aspect is even more important if the purpose of sexual relation is to have children.
Considering this, the male sexual dysfunctions include those related to erection, such as the erectile dysfunctions. Erectile dysfunctions may be characterized by the insufficient erection, when the penis would not be hard whatsoever or not hard enough to allow a penetration. There may occur dysfunctions related to the orgasm phase such as the anorgasmia, when the orgasm didn't happen, or the, commonly, premature ejaculation, that is the ejaculation that happens very soon, too before the time expected by the man and his partner. 

 The woman sexual function

For women there are also dysfunctions, as we would expect. The most frequent ones for them are those related to penetration and to orgasm. In what concerns penetration, it is common to find problems related to pain. There are basically two causes for pain during penetration. The dyspareunia is the pain during penetration caused by an physiological factor, such as infections. The pain, however, may also be caused by psychological factors, when it is called vaginism. The vaginism is the pain caused by the involuntary contraction of vaginal internal muscles. It is commonly related to a negative conception regarding sexual act. The woman with this problem not hardly fears the penetration.
For her also there are the orgasm dysfunctions. It is considerable more common for woman the anorgasmia.

That's all folks...

And this is it for today, people. Of course this is only an introductory view of dysfunctions. I plan to make many others posts discussing particularly each of the dysfunctions, particularly the most common ones for men and women. There are many others dysfunctions than these I mentioned here so stay tunned!

Best regards!
 

Happy International women's day?

Hi everyone,

Today is the International Women's Day, as you probably already know. Yesterday happened something that made me a little concerned. I wished "happy international women's day" to a friend and she seemed a little uncomfortable. Wondering why, I began to study about this date.

A happy day?

It seems not. The International Women's Day was a hard and conflicting date right from the start. It began after the protests made by Russian female workers in 1920, in pursue of better labor conditions. It was revived in 1960, after an hiatus of quite some time. Some find offensive how the date, then, became a sort of "Valentine's Day", being explored commercially, including by the employers themselves that only acknowledge the date with an insignificant sign or gift, instead of better labor conditions as, ironically, was the original motivation.

It seems my friend had her reasons to react like that.

A call to arms

The women indeed have reasons to fight yet. The working conditions are still unequal, as many researches show (including this one). The women continue to be paid less then men, when performing similar functions. Also women around the world keep being discriminated and maltreated. India, for instance, has an undeclared permissive trace of rape in its culture, making this crime there sort of accepted. In Brazil, the raping is often justified as if the victim were partially responsible for it due to the way she dressed or behaved. In some countries still nowadays, women don't have all the rights or aren't considered full citizens. The women still struggle to be, after all.

Finally...

So, the date is important indeed. It is those dates that serve to remind us. Remind that we still have a lot to do for a cause. But, I consider, it doesn't need to be only about fighting. We also may use this date to praise the women, show how we care for them. What we can't do is use these demonstrations of affection as substitution of more important changes that must be done. It may be a happy day after all, but, above all, it is a day for reflection.

Best wishes to you all and, specially, for you dear women!

The human sexual response cycle

Hello friends,

I was thinking about which topic we should discuss in our first post here on the blog (I know, this is not the first posting, but the other one is not actually about our subject the sexuality). There are tons of topics that are important to talk about here and one is directly related to the other, what makes the selection even harder. For instance, the sexual dysfunctions are connected to the knowledge about many topics including the reproductive anatomy. But, a topic must be chosen and despite of many be good candidates, there are some that are fundamental for understand the aspects related to our sexuality. Among these, and the one I selected for today, is the human sexual response cycle. The reason for that is obvious. There is no way to talk about many of important subjects, including the essential dysfunctions without knowing about sexual response cycle. It is what defines functional, in fact. So, without further ado, the human sexual response cycle everyone.

Human Sexual Response Cycle: a definition.

The human sexual response cycle is the path, so to speak, that our sexual energy travels, in order to allow the sexual act to happen. It may be somehow hard to understand with just this definition. That's why I came up with this brief Prezi presentation, explaining this whole path analogy in more details.
 

*You may need to allow the unsafe scripts on your browser in order to make the presentation appear. If even after do this the presentation didn't work, just click on this link. 

Welcome!

Hello everyone,

This is my first posting for you. I think is useful to present myself. My name is Daniel do Amaral Denardi. I'm graduated in psychology and master in language science. I always loved sexuality. Since I was a little boy, I always had a kind of magnetic attraction for sexual aspects. That childish curiosity towards genders was much stronger in me (I had that impression, at least). From this curiosity I began to study the subject, first through the classes of sexual orientation I had in school. That was the reason that took me to major in psychology, to begin with. Today I'm working with it for more than 10 years and have my own ebook dedicated to the theme. As for this blog, I intend to use it to help you understand your sexuality, something I already been doing for a while in my mother tongue, through the other version of my blog.

Best regards and see you soon!